Slow Down, You Move Too Fast

The six-year-old boy could barely comprehend what his teacher was saying to him. He was to turn in all of the first-grade books that he had been issued five months ago at the opening of school. Then, she was going to take him to the other hall of the old building, and he would be in a second-grade class for the rest of the year. His second-grade teacher would have more books for him. The teacher said that because the boy's grandfather had taught him how to read in the summer before he started school, he was reading at a higher level than the other boys and girls in his first-grade class, and the school had decided to promote him to second grade early.

Years later, when the boy looked back on that day, he would not remember saying good-bye to any of his first-grade classmates. He simply handed over his books, and walked out into the corridor with his first-grade teacher. He didn't regret giving up the reader - he found the short meaningless sentences very boring. "Look Spot, see Jane." The books his mother checked out for him from the dusty old public library downtown were much more interesting. He did regret giving up his Arithmetic book though. He loved the way the numbers in the addition exercises lined up so neatly on the page, and he enjoyed the knowledge that every question in the book had a RIGHT answer.

When they reached his new classroom, the second-grade teacher met them at the door. She told her students the boy's name, and said that he would be part of the class for the rest of the year. The students looked at him curiously as the teacher directed him to a desk off to the side of the room, somewhat separated from the rest of the class, which held a stack of second-grade textbooks. The first-grade teacher went back down the hall to her class, and the boy sat down at his new desk.

In the years that followed, as the boy worked his way through elementary school, junior high school, and high school, he knew that he was uncomfortable socially, and he always felt awkward physically. He did fairly well academically. He didn't make A's in every course, but he could have if he had been willing to put forth the effort. He always felt as if he was an outsider in every class, somehow different from everyone else. The other students in his classes always seemed more at ease in social situations than he was. They knew what was expected in order to fit in. How did they learn all that, and why couldn't he learn it?

It wasn't until he was an adult with young children of his own, and a job teaching teenagers, that he began to understand why he had struggled to fit in. At the time he started school, his city's schools enrolled children in the first grade if they were six years old by September 30. The boy's birthday was in late March, so, in his first grade class he had been almost exactly in the middle of the class ranked by age. However, on the day he moved over to the second grade class, he immediately became the youngest person in the group. His youngest classmates were at least six months older than him, and the oldest were 18 months older. Especially during his elementary and junior high years, he was associated solely with children who were a year ahead of him in physical and social maturity, so it is not surprising that he struggled to find common ground with them. Given the more rapid maturation of girls, he truly had no chance of interacting with the opposite sex on anything like a common footing during those years.

Things got a little better in high school, mainly because he was in the band. The band involved students from grades 10 through 12 in one class, giving him a little protective cover. Also, the boy was a competent trumpet player, which helped him to be accepted by his fellow students in a group where ability mattered. Even there, though, the boy felt awkward socially, especially with girls.

Why would anyone think that putting a young boy through this kind of experience was a good idea? The boy's parents really had no background in child psychology or human development to call on. He was their first child, and he was ahead of his class academically. That's a good thing, right? They probably were proud that he was singled out in this way by the school. Also, at the time this decision was being made, they had a second son nearly two years old, and third one due within a month. They had a lot on their plate.

The school personnel are another matter. They should have known better. The boy had not fit comfortably into their structure, so instead of modifying the structure, they forced the boy into another structure where he was even more of a misfit. Was he a discipline problem in that first grade class? He certainly doesn't remember that he was. He may well have expressed his boredom with the reading material, either through overt comments, or with grimaces and body language; but he has no recollection of any true misbehavior. For whatever reason, it has to have been the first-grade teacher who initiated the move. Did she give any thought to the trauma this sudden displacement would cause for the boy? If not, why not?

Now that he has reached the status of elder statesman, if he hears of a colleague or friend considering a decision to accelerate his or her child's schooling in some way, he makes a point of going to the parent and telling his story. Especially if the child in question is a boy, he always urges the parent to let the child move through the school system with his age-group peers. He reminds them that with the wealth of educational technology at our disposal, there are many ways for a teacher to deal effectively with individual differences in academic development without separating the child from his class. However, technology does not yet offer any help in navigating the social and emotional development of children and adolescents. In this realm, it appears that we are much better off to leave children in classes with other children that are roughly their own age, This allows students to learn from their peers, and to teach their peers, all of the social and emotional skills and cues they need to be fully functioning members of their society. We endanger our children if we tamper with that process.

Thomas R. Borden
Waugh, Alabama
January 6, 2018

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